Moms: Don't forget to date your husbands.

I’m sitting here this morning, waiting for my homeopathic sinus medicine to kick in, in my pajamas, with no make-up on. My hair is in a state of disarray: bangs pulled up and fly-away hairs everywhere. I have a bamboo hankie in my pocket that I’m blowing my nose on. (I like that germs don’t really live in bamboo fabric as much as cotton.) I’m a mess. I didn’t even try to look nice for my husband today.

Here’s the thing, many, many wives don’t even try to look nice for their husbands… ever.

And that’s a problem.

We complain when our husband’s don’t pay much attention to us. Here’s what I’ve found though, today, my husband isn’t paying much attention to me. He’s not being very flirty. Hmmmm… I think it’s obvious why. This obviousness though, seems to elude wives everywhere. We play the role of mom, and they love us tremendously for mothering their children. But we still want them to see us as vital, sexy women. I promise you, they can love us and see us both ways, if we take time to play the “mating game” like we used to. The one that snagged them in the first place.

Remember when you were first dating your husband? Chances are good you at the very least threw on some pressed powder and eye make-up. Chances are you shaved you legs. Chances are you did your hair, and not just for hanging out with your girlfriends or going out shopping. Chances are, you did it for him. I mean, sure, I know there’s some hippies out there reading this that didn’t take these measures, but certainly you took other measures to impress your husband. Maybe you listened to his stories, and laughed a little extra when they were funny. Maybe you made him organic omelets in the morning with fresh produce. These things still matter.

Even though it’s nice to be in a committed relationship and not have to feel insecure when you’ve got allergies and a huge workload to tackle before your shower. It’s still important to take those few extra minutes each day to make him feel important, and remind him you are a sexy beautiful woman.

So, throw away your granny panties. You were able to find sexy, comfy undies really cheap before you were married, certainly you can find them now.

With three children, I can’t always find the alone time to shave my legs, but I have “emergency thigh high socks” that I bought for three dollars to wear to bed when my leg hair gets out of hand. It takes three seconds to put them on, and my husband thinks they’re adorable. I’m not about to let him know that it’s because I didn’t shave. I like to keep a little mystique and magic in my marriage.

I never have time to paint my nails and let them dry, but I did find a really cheap hooker red lipstick that my husband notices positively. He may say he doesn’t like it on his lips, but he absolutely pays more attention to me when it’s on there.

My husband and I sometimes attempt a date night, but usually we’re both so tired and we end up feeling guilty for spending money on a movie and dinner. The thing is though, when we were dating, we didn’t go on date night. I just wore a tight shirt and jeans and went over to his house. I made sure my hair looked good. We had a couple of drinks and watched movies on DVD. Date night is usually not nearly as fun as hanging out watching movies or going to the grocery store and running errands with my husband, provided I put a little effort into making myself look appealing to him.

These days, as 7:30 rolls around and my husband is about to come home, you can actually catch me putting on my make-up and a bra for the first time that day. Sure, I’m going to wash it off in a couple of hours, but it’s absolutely worth putting in on for just a few hours for the attention he pays me when I do it.

I know this all seems kind of vain and superficial. Here’s the thing, men are hard-wired to be visually responsive. They just are. That doesn’t make them pigs. It just makes them men.

And let’s face it, we want their attention. I only share this because the same man that will ignore my gossip fest in a couple of minutes, would be hanging on my every word if I had just put a little bit of effort into my appearance this morning.


  1. Umm,

    Best post Ive Ever Ever read. For real. Hahahahah, not biased or anything.

    I cant believe the inside info I got with Thigh Highs socks. I feel so incredibly smart right now.

    You know Dawn, its interesting you saw men respond to visual queues. Cause when I want my wife to notice me, I do small things, like setup the coffee for the morning, I vacuum, and I grocery shop. These are all major bonuses, but nothing is hotter than kissing your wife goodbye, and telling her she is sexy when you leave for work, regardless of what condition she is in because bottom line, she is probably working to better the family and the household which is pretty sexy in and of itself.

    Thanks for the great post.

  2. Chadwick

    I agree, for the most part. Neither side of a couple ever gets to just stop trying, without the romance seeping out of the relationship. But “emergency thigh-highs” ??? To bed? Come on now…

    • dawn

      Thigh HIgh SOCKS, and only if I didn’t get a chance to shave. They’re adorable, with little stripes on them. They’re all cottony and super soft! That way, two things happen, my husband thinks I’m adorable AND I’m not insecure of myself when we’re having fun after he thinks I’m adorable. 😉

      Don’t knock it until she tries it. 😉

      Also, I FULLY agree that both sides need to try to keep the romance alive, but most of the time, this blog is aimed at women. Only three percent or something like that of our readers are men. So, I really wanted to help women learn how to keep their man’s attention. You see, to keep a woman interested in sex during her prime (provided she’s not on hormonal birth control, which often KILLS it) requires little more than making sure she’s not exhausted by helping to clean the house and stuff.

      My husband helps with laundry (OK, he basically does all the laundry- yes including the diapers) and housekeeping as well as all the manly stuff. He does all the extra stuff, I figure because he’s just plain a fantastic man, but also, I’ve always supported his dream to become a tattoo artist. At times, it was hard, I had to let myself go without a lot of things, but now, it’s paid off bigtime, and only a few years into our marriage. Not only do we have the money we need to pay everything, but I also have a husband who gets to follow his REAL dream, and not just pay the bills with a boring job that would stifle his creative spirit.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to Top