I’m sitting here this morning, waiting for my homeopathic sinus medicine to kick in, in my pajamas, with no make-up on. My hair is in a state of disarray: bangs pulled up and fly-away hairs everywhere. I have a bamboo hankie in my pocket that I’m blowing my nose on. (I like that germs don’t really live in bamboo fabric as much as cotton.) I’m a mess. I didn’t even try to look nice for my husband today.
Here’s the thing, many, many wives don’t even try to look nice for their husbands… ever.
And that’s a problem.
We complain when our husband’s don’t pay much attention to us. Here’s what I’ve found though, today, my husband isn’t paying much attention to me. He’s not being very flirty. Hmmmm… I think it’s obvious why. This obviousness though, seems to elude wives everywhere. We play the role of mom, and they love us tremendously for mothering their children. But we still want them to see us as vital, sexy women. I promise you, they can love us and see us both ways, if we take time to play the “mating game” like we used to. The one that snagged them in the first place.
Remember when you were first dating your husband? Chances are good you at the very least threw on some pressed powder and eye make-up. Chances are you shaved you legs. Chances are you did your hair, and not just for hanging out with your girlfriends or going out shopping. Chances are, you did it for him. I mean, sure, I know there’s some hippies out there reading this that didn’t take these measures, but certainly you took other measures to impress your husband. Maybe you listened to his stories, and laughed a little extra when they were funny. Maybe you made him organic omelets in the morning with fresh produce. These things still matter.
Even though it’s nice to be in a committed relationship and not have to feel insecure when you’ve got allergies and a huge workload to tackle before your shower. It’s still important to take those few extra minutes each day to make him feel important, and remind him you are a sexy beautiful woman.
So, throw away your granny panties. You were able to find sexy, comfy undies really cheap before you were married, certainly you can find them now.
With three children, I can’t always find the alone time to shave my legs, but I have “emergency thigh high socks” that I bought for three dollars to wear to bed when my leg hair gets out of hand. It takes three seconds to put them on, and my husband thinks they’re adorable. I’m not about to let him know that it’s because I didn’t shave. I like to keep a little mystique and magic in my marriage.
I never have time to paint my nails and let them dry, but I did find a really cheap hooker red lipstick that my husband notices positively. He may say he doesn’t like it on his lips, but he absolutely pays more attention to me when it’s on there.
My husband and I sometimes attempt a date night, but usually we’re both so tired and we end up feeling guilty for spending money on a movie and dinner. The thing is though, when we were dating, we didn’t go on date night. I just wore a tight shirt and jeans and went over to his house. I made sure my hair looked good. We had a couple of drinks and watched movies on DVD. Date night is usually not nearly as fun as hanging out watching movies or going to the grocery store and running errands with my husband, provided I put a little effort into making myself look appealing to him.
These days, as 7:30 rolls around and my husband is about to come home, you can actually catch me putting on my make-up and a bra for the first time that day. Sure, I’m going to wash it off in a couple of hours, but it’s absolutely worth putting in on for just a few hours for the attention he pays me when I do it.
I know this all seems kind of vain and superficial. Here’s the thing, men are hard-wired to be visually responsive. They just are. That doesn’t make them pigs. It just makes them men.
And let’s face it, we want their attention. I only share this because the same man that will ignore my gossip fest in a couple of minutes, would be hanging on my every word if I had just put a little bit of effort into my appearance this morning.