World's Best Cake Recipe

This cake recipe is so simple, even a child can learn how to do it. (Well, perhaps ONLY a child can learn how to do it.)

My daughter, expert baker, made this for me last night and as I watched her prepare it, I saw it for the first time through her eyes.

You will need:

  • Wooden blocks like these:

  • Magic

 

 

Step 1.

First you will need to prepare each block for cooking.

  1. Wash each block under the imaginary sink while you count to twenty. Pay close attention, because I think it might be some kind of magic spell:  “one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, weven, quelve, firstteen, secondteen, sixteen, secondteen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty.”
  2. Blow on each block, being careful not to spit on them. If you spit on them, you will need to rewash them ALL.
At this point, your batter will look something like this:

Step 2.

Next you will flavor your batter.

  1. Take each block individually and put it in the refrigerator while you count to five normally then move on to the next block.
  2. Take all the blocks and shove them under your bed.
  3. Seal off the flavoring by shoving a coat or blanket in front of the blocks.
  4. Remove all blocks and put them into your shirt. If a block accidentally falls down into your pants, you will have to throw it near, but not at something of value. For example, a 55 gallon fish tank will do.
At this point, your flavored batter will look something like this:

 

Step 3.

Cook your batter.

  1. Don’t worry if you don’t have an oven, because a backpack will do nicely too. If you don’t have a big enough oven, you can split the cake layers up- putting half into the oven and half into the backpack. If you are using a backpack, make sure to remove all of your brother’s homework and pencils first by dumping them on the floor.
  2. Wait twenty seconds while counting out loud: “one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, weven, quelve, firstteen, secondteen, sixteen, secondteen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty.”
  3. Remove the cake from the oven(s) and assemble on any flat surface.

If you’ve followed the instructions, once assembled your cake will  now look like this:

 

PS. This is also exactly how you make the world’s best pancakes too.

 

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