What if I don’t bond immediately with my newborn?

If you are expecting your first child, you’ve probably heard the heart-warming stories about falling in love instantly with your baby.

Your eyes meet, you kiss them and that’s it. Gone. Forever in love and blissful.

Maybe you are pregnant with your second (or third!) baby and you already had that experience.


But sometimes, the bond and love between you and your baby doesn’t come naturally or effortlessly. And that’s NOT abnormal or something to fear. In fact, it happens more than you probably think.

The fact is, a lot of new parents probably fake that instant love and bond because it is expected. And that isn’t necessarily the wrong thing to do. There is a lot to be said for faking it until you make it.

Birth is hard and you will likely be exhausted and in pain. And a newborn isn’t always the easiest thing to take care of.

For many parents, love grows slowly and can take time to blossom. And in the rush of birth, you might not always get that space and quiet to bond properly with your new baby.

There is no rushing the love between a parent and a child. Release the judgment and the expectation and take your time getting to know and bond with this tiny human who is all yours. And don’t forget to take care of yourself, too. If you can’t or need help, a postpartum doula is a great option.

One thing that many parents find helpful is to limit visitors for the first month and just spend time as a family, resting, feeding and caring for each other.

In this safe and nurturing space, love has time to grow.

Everything Birth

At Everything Birth, we hope you and your family have a wonderful and bonding postpartum experience.

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