Are you even a mom if you don’t feel guilty a million times a day over almost everything?
We didn’t think so.
Mom guilt is very real and most of us struggle with it from time to time. Did we hug our kids enough? Did we feed them well enough? Are they getting enough sleep? Am I doing a good job? Did we play enough? AM I GIVING THEM A MAGICAL CHILDHOOD?!
It is a lot.
But as a mom, generally speaking, if you are worried about being a good mom…you already are one.
Mom guilt can, over time, erode your self-esteem and steal your joy, however, so it’s a good idea to try and nip it in the bud. Here are three strategies to stop it in its tracks.
Remind yourself of the good
Reminding ourselves of the good we do daily can help us refocus during times of struggle.
While it is probably a lot easier to pick yourself apart and focus on your flaws, when was the last time you sat down and considered all the good you have done and all the wins you have had? We are sure there are many, if you just reflect on it. Sometimes, you can do this self-reflection daily; other times you can sit with it during a moment (we know, it’s rare!) of quiet.
Like Elsa said, “Let it go!” Your children are looking to you on how to act when they mess up and modeling forgiveness in yourself when you yell or struggle – and then working to change the behavior – is a gift you’ll give them as adults. We all mess up. But a genuine apology and a willingness to change goes a long way.
Accept that you are enough
Mama, you are the best mother to those children of yours and you will always be enough – even on days when you feel you fall short. Accepting that, and working toward progress and not being perfect, is a great way to stop the cycle of mom guilt.
We all have our own unique gifts – and our own challenges – but it’s a good idea to focus on what we can do instead of all the things we cannot. Maybe you won’t throw Pinterest worthy parties, but you make the best muffins in town. You might not have the most patience, but you are always willing to throw a kitchen dance party. Embrace the good, keep working on your challenges and know you are the best mom those kids have.
At Everything Birth, we are here to support moms always.